Igualada is a small town in Barcelona, Spain, with not much tourist there. It’s my first
time being an au pair, a low paying nanny job. I should say ‘‘pocket money’’. It’s a
good chance to stay with the locals , enjoy different cultures, languages,
experiences, and the way to teach, raise the kid. Because I didn’t have enough
budget for Europe trip for three months. So It was a good opportunity to try it. But, I
had never thought that I was such “lucky” though.
The first time experience to be an au pair was horrible. Probably won’t do it
anymore. When I tried to find a host on the internet, it was okay, the host dad
wanted to have a big sister for his kids. The first day was great, the kids showed me
around their house, garden, and we made pizza together. But in the end of dinner
kids said’’ we are rich because we have a big house. And you can drink Sangria as
much as you want. Because it’s FREE.” I didn’t feel good when they told me in that
way. Although I am not rich, you shouldn’t treat people like this. It’s kind of show off.
One day, the kids said” I want to play football with you.” And I replied “sorry, I can’t.
I don’t feel good today because during the period. And I forgot to bring painkiller.”
BUT, the kids said” No, you HAVE TO play with me.” And even they complained to
their dad. Which surprised me was their dad said” you have to play with my kids!!”
And he knew I was in the bad condition at that day. What can I say…
Okay, I shouldn’t complain anymore. After few days as an au pair ,I noticed that
when their parents tried to teach kids, the kids usually didn’t listen or just screaming.
And kids didn’t behave well. They sometimes pretend doing sex or blow job. Or even
touch girl’s boobs or hip. I don’t know does kid be so naughty nowadays, or it’s not
normal. So I tried to talk to their parents about this. And suggested them to talk with
kid’s teacher, to know how their behaver in school is. Maybe we can correct kids as
soon as possible. I even asked some of my friend about how to teach kids or face this
kind of problem. I am not a professional au pair neither know how to teach kids, but
at least I tried. Do you believe what did their dad reply me? He said” they are my
kids, I can’t change their brain, I can’t throw them out from the window. One kid is
one problem, and makes me headache. If I know they will become this, then I won’t
have them. So I am waiting for one day when they turn 18, then I can kick them out.
“
I was very shocked when I heard that, and thought about how silly I was trying to
change something. I thought I just be a nice au pair and do what I should do for that
period of time would be good enough.
The au pair work schedule made me so exhausted, I started to work from 7:30am
until 9:15PM, although the job wasn’t so hard, also I didn’t work all the time. But the
free-time was separated by multiple work-time. And where I can go was limited,
because I had to come back on time for work, and they lived in the suburb which the
public transportation was inconvenience. I should use to get used to it, because not
everywhere is convenience as Taiwan.
One of my job was prepare food for kids. Although I know how to cook(but not good
at cooking><), I was not familiar with Spanish ingredients and their kitchen. Their
dad told me “ You can ask kids what they want to eat for dinner. Use your brain to
think what is good for kids. Your brain isn’t full of marshmallow.” I tried to make
some Taiwanese dish, but kids didn’t like . They even didn’t want to try. Just make
yuck face, and said “what is that? Who will eat this kind of food?” Which made me
sad and not be respected. I told to my friend who was au pair in the same town
about this, and she told me it was an inadequate job for au pair. Different culture,
different habit, and I even thought that did they just want a free chef, cleaner, and
maid?
One day the boy hit my head, made me super angry, because he did this so many
times before, and I warned him but it didn’t work. So this time I hit him back. His
mom just saw it, and said “ It’s not allow to hit my kids, and I didn’t see he hits you!.”
I said” but he hit me first.” (ok, I know it sounds like kids talk…)
About this situation, I had googled it. There are so many solutions, one part supports
that is okay to counter, another part supports adult should only talk and teach to kid,
but not bully treat bully.
After had a conversation with their parents, I didn’t think I should do something
more. Otherwise, I was thinking about leaving before the due date. Because I can’t
see any benefit to be an au pair in this kind of family. I told with my friend about this,
she was an au pair from German, also had bad experience for a year, and was kicked
out by her former au pair family. She told me “You can learn and experience more by
bad family. And you only stay with them for a month, shouldn’t give up so early.”
I totally agreed with her. But the time to stay with them was a kind of torture for me.
I had a meeting at night on that day, and the parents said ‘’ it’s ok if I want to stay as
an au pair, but I have to accept whatever the kids want me to do for them. Like clean
their room, do the dishes, tie their shoes, bring their school bag, do their
homework….etc. Yup, You are not misunderstand, their dad was so happy when the
first time I did the homework for the girl, he even took a photo to record the
moment.
I asked the boy ‘’ would you prefer I stay or leave?’’ he said” I don’t know. Talk to my
parents.’’ I was trying to talk to the kids. But only the girl willing talk to me, the boy
won’t. He just wants a partner for play, do all the house chars for him, wouldn’t want
to show his opinion.
The girl told me that I was the 14 th au pair in their family. All of the au pair left earlier
than the contract. They usually stayed couple weeks to one month. Kids told me they
had good time but they didn’t want to share the story about au pair with me. And I
was trying to get more information about former au pair and to see how to be a
good au pair in this family. Their dad told me the former one was from Vietnam with
heavy accent, and she had a good time with kids and parents, but she missed big
city, that’s why she left. And it was not ok to give me her connect information. So I
was wondering if only I had trouble with this family or every au pair faced similar
situation.
In the last day, the boy tried to hit me by broom, and put dust on my head. He told
me”You can’t hit me because I will tell my mon. but I CAN hit you.’’ So I decided to
leave.
The parents accept, and their dad said” We are happy that you choose to leave. You
know you are not a good au pair. And we believe we are good family. If you don’t
believe you can ask.” And I asked if the Vietnam girl had a good time here why she
left earlier? He said“ Oh~ I had a good time with her, maybe just for me, but not for
kids.” It was a super weird answer, right?
Actually, one of my friends gave the Vietnam girl’s whatsapp ID. And I tried to meet
her when I travel to Barcelona. She told me she had similar experience and feeling as
me. She had to work for a long time every day, felt exhausted. And one day, they
told her that they will have a family trip, if she want to join them, she have to pay for
it. If not, she needs to find a place to stay for couple days but not their house. She
had no choice, because she couldn’t afford it. That’s why she left and found a new au
pair family. So the story was totally different between both sides.
After I left, I moved to the house of my friend for a few days for rest and did nothing,
which was what I really need at that time. Still remembered when I told to my friend
from Taiwan on the phone, told about what happened in these two weeks. Suddenly
I started crying, just can’t help. I thought I was okay in the beginning. Then I shocked
that I really suffered such pressure that could make me cry. Finally everything is in
the past, so no more pain.
I do post some of the experiences and pictures on Facebook. One of my friends saw
the post and told me” The boy was the worst student in her English class two years
ago. And I made a phone call to his mother, told her that he made other classmates
cry and had bad behaver. But his mom said it’s impossible!! She even won’t believe
what teacher said.” Now I know I was really lucky, right. Hahaha
Done
Thanks for all of my friends who helps me, be company. And thanks new au pair
family gave me a chance to stay with them. Let me not just have bad experience in
Igualada.
